One Last Time
by I'm Miss World
Summary: Twoshot Songfic ReidOC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Covenant

**A/N:** The lyrics are from the song 'Drop Dead Gorgeous' by Republica

**One Last Time by Cara Mascara**

Backwards words, he got 'em  
Shut up, I'm talking  
This time, you'll listen  
But when I look at you you're forgiven

"I didn't have sex with her!" He's kidding me. He's got to be kidding me!

"So that makes it okay?! You wee all over that skank!" I'm not going to cry over him though. I can't cry over him. He does it all the time. I'm almost used to it. And at this point, his cheating doesn't even bother me. It just bothers me that I'm letting him do this to me over and over again. All his backward words and lies aren't going to save him this time. I'm not standing by him anymore.

"It wasn't what-"

"Shut up! I'm not done talking! How long do you expect me to put up with this?" His blue eyes were laced with confusion. He really doesn't understand. He doesn't see anything wrong with making out with another girl while I'm his girlfriend. "You make me look like an idiot because no matter what people tell me, I stick by your lies. I know what I'd think of someone who put up with your behavior. I'd say 'that girl is an idiot'. I'm tired of being the idiot."

"You're not an idiot."

"I know. That's why I can't do this anymore. You don't need me and it's pretty apparent to me that you don't want me." His eyes pleaded with me. We've been through this before, but this time it's for real. I sighed and shook my head. He's hopeless, he really is. "Reid, it's over. Just… go away."

_You drive, too fast and  
I smoke, too much and  
My heart, is broken  
But when I look at you you're forgiven  
You're forgiven_

"I'm driving." Of course he is. He always has to drive. It's a control thing. Reid needs to be in control. Always.

You're probably asking what the hell I'm doing with him. Well, it's simple really. He wanted to go to Nicky's. I didn't. He begged. I caved. Now he's diving.

I can never stay mad at Reid for long. Now, don't get me wrong. We are not back together. We're just friends. I told him that was it. Nothing more, nothing less. No friends with benefits. No dating. Nothing but fiends.

I put the butt of my cigarette in the ashtray and blew the remaining smoke out the crack of my window. Pulling out another cancer stick, I placed it between my lips and tried to light it as he whipped around a corner.

I fell to the left and dropped my lighter in my lap. "Slow down Reid!" I told him. He drives way too fast for his own good. And mine now that I think of it.

A smirk graced his lips and he glanced at me from the side. "You smoke way too much Cyn." I rolled my eyes and took a long puff of the cigarette before blowing it in his direction purposely. He waved the smoke away and continued driving into the setting sun.

I took this time to look at him. Its no secret Reid Garwin is one of the Spenser heartthrobs. And he certainly uses those looks to his advantage. How else would he get away with all his lies and how else would he be able to play numbers of girls at a time? You just take one look at the blonde and can't help but forgive him.

_I know my ex-boyfriend lies  
Oh he does it every time  
It's just his permanent disguise  
Yeah yeah but he's drop dead gorgeous_

"I've been thinking about you a lot lately." Here we go. Let's start the count for tonight. Lie number one. Maybe not a complete lie, but word manipulation. See, Reid never thinks about anyone but himself, and maybe the other Sons occasionally. He might think about doing something with me, but not me. Not my feelings. Not my thoughts. Nothing that requires much depth. Sex is usually the simple explanation to Reid's thoughts.

"Well, don't waste your thoughts, because it's not happening."

I saw a crease in his brow and he scowled at me quickly before turning his attention back to the road. "That's not all I think about you know." Lie number two! If that weren't all he thought about, he wouldn't have known that's what I meant. "Cyn, trust me, okay? Tonight I'm gonna prove to you that I deserve another chance."

I couldn't help but snort. Lie number three. And we aren't even at Nicky's yet. It's going to be a long night.

_Don't go changing every time  
Not for me to compromise  
You're still a friend of mine  
Yeah yeah and you're drop dead gorgeous_

"Tonight is all about you babe. Dinner's on me," Reid told me once we walked into Nicky's. I resisted the constant urge to roll my eyes every time he opened his mouth and allowed him to take my hand and lead me over to the bar counter where Nicky was cleaning some glasses.

"What can I get a Reid?" the gruff owner asked as he set a glass under the counter.

Reid glanced at me then looked at Nicky. "Two burgers. No onions or mustard on one, two fries, a large Coke and an Iced Tea." Well, I must say. It's rather impressive that Reid actually remembered something as insignificant as how I take my burger. He usually can't remember a girl's eye color.

I'll admit, I'm shocked and slightly impressed.

"You got it. 'Bout five minutes," Nicky told us before he walked off.

We sat. We ate. We talked. He was taking way too much interest in me. Asking way too many questions. It all felt too false. He was trying way too hard. I had to do something about this. It's painful to sit through.

"Reid, you don't have to waste your time trying to impress me by pretending you're interested in my life."

His face completely fell. He frowned and pulled his hand away from on top of mine. "Did you ever think I was actually trying to make an effort to get you back? I'm not pretending. I just want everything to work out."

"Yeah well, it's a little too late for that Reid. You've burned me too many times already." He let out a huff of air before getting up and disappearing into the crowded dance floor, probably over to the pool tables.

I felt bad I'll admit it. His expression looked sincerely hurt. But I can't do it to myself again, can I? No…

_Yeah - end of, stop sulking  
Get out, you're walkin'  
Too bad, I've spoken  
But when I look at you you're forgiven_

How stupid am I? I went looking for him. I actually went looking for him. I was going to tell him sorry and let him know that I actually had been having a good time. And maybe, just maybe there was a sliver of hope for us.

But it was so fucking stupid of me to even consider doing this.

I couldn't find him anywhere, so I asked Tyler when I spotted him playing foosball with one of the guys from his swim team.

"Hey Cynthia," he'd greeted me, never taking his eyes off the game.

"Hi, have you seen Reid around anywhere?" I tucked some of my blonde hair behind my ears. Tyler scored a final goal for the win and waved off his opponent before guiding me over to a quieter, less crowded part of Nicky's.

"He came over here. He was pretty down. He seriously looked upset. He aid he didn't want to talk about it." Tyler's blue eyes searched my green ones for an answer to the unasked question of what happened.

"I just… I don't want to hurt him Tyler. I just don't want him to hurt me again. I mean, at this point, it's almost like I expect him to cheat on me. And that's not right."

"I understand," he said with a nod of his head. He knows how Reid is obviously. "He cares a lot about you though. He wouldn't go out of his way to keep you on his good side if he didn't. He just…"

"-has a funny way of showing it? I've heard it all before. That's the problem."

"No, he just doesn't know how to show it. I really think you should go talk to him. Last time I saw him he was on his way outside, probably for a cigarette or something." I nodded and gave Tyler a small smile before disappearing out the side door and into the alley. I looked around and saw a few people from school hanging out. But no Reid. I walked around to the front and saw he wasn't there either. Sighing, I looked through my purse for my phone. I'll just call him.

Shit. It's in my ca. I left it hooked up to the charger. I crossed the street and made my way oven to my car. Would you just imagine what I saw?

I open the door and see fogged windows and Reid with some tramp slobbering all over him! In the backseat of my car!

"Get out!" My voice scared me. I could see by the expressions on Reid and the unknown slut that it scared them too. She scampered out of the car, pulling her top on, and back towards Nicky's faster than lightning. Reid however took his time. He knew I was going to explode.

"I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry?! Bullshit Reid! You can walk back to school!"

_Your lies, don't want 'em  
Drop dead, not joking  
This thing, is broken  
But when I look at you you're forgiven  
You're forgiven_

"I'm sorry Cyn." He went forward to hug me and looked confused when I moved away. He actually thought I'd let him _touch _me after that! This time it hurt. This time it hurt more then any other time. Because I let my gaurdd down. I actually thought maybe he could change for good this time. How stupid am I?

"How many times do you expect me to believe that hollow lie of an apology?" I choked on a sob and turned away from him. I don't want him to see me cry over him. So it's not the first time, but this is probably the worst thing he's ever done.

"It's not a lie Cyn, I-"

"Don't call me that! Only my friends can call me that." I whipped around and said it so bitterly. He ran his hands through his hair. "Give me my keys."

"Can we please talk-"

"No! You don't get to talk to me ever again Reid! You're an asshole! Besides, what would we talk about? How every time I think maybe there's a sliver of hope for you, you go ahead and prove me wrong?! Drop dead!"

_I know my ex-boyfriend lies  
Oh he does it every time  
It's just his permanent disguise  
Yeah yeah but he's drop dead gorgeous_

The year flew by. Sooner then I expected graduation had rolled around. I'd only spoken to Reid once since that incident at Nicky's. I ignored all his efforts until one night when I got a phone call.

For some reason he called me when his father died. He needed someone to listen to him, and I was always a good shoulder to cry on. And he did. Yes, Reid Garwin is human and _does _cry.

I didn't talk much to him. Just ran my fingers through his hair while he cried out all his anger and sadness. But he talked. He talked a lot more then he probably should have. I think he said more than he wanted to too because he told me he was in love with me.

Yeah, I know.

Since then, Reid hasn't even attempted to talk to me again.

It doesn't shock me. It's probably just another one of his lies anyway.

_Don't go changing every time  
Not for me to compromise  
You're still a friend of mine  
Yeah yeah and you're drop dead gorgeous_

Caleb Danvers gave his Valedictorian speech and then Provost Higgins began presenting the diplomas. I got mine before Reid, but I followed him with my eyes when he went up to get his diploma.

Blue locked with green and an almost undetectable smile twitched onto his lips.

After he walked off the stage the ceremony seemed to blur by and before I knew it, I was throwing my cap into the air with the rest of my classmates. Tears were shed, hugs were given and received, and when I was getting ready to head over to the Dells for one final bash, there was a knock on my dormitory door.

I maneuvered over the boxes of my roommates and my packed stuff. She's already headed to the Dells. I was a bit surprised to find Reid on the other side of the door, black knit beanie and fingerless gloves in place as usual.

"Need a ride?" he asked, waving the keys to the new Corvette his mother had bought him for his graduation present. Everyone had seen it in the parking lot and I heard though the grapevine it was Reid's.

I almost said no.

But what the hell? Chances are, I'll never see him again after tonight anyway, except for maybe when I leave tomorrow morning.

We drove in near silence except for the radio except for one question he asked me. "Are you going away to school?"

"I don't know. I got accepted to Brown and Harvard, but I also got accepted to Stanford." I was seriously considering Stanford. It might be my only chance to get out of New England.

"Stanford's in California."

"Yeah…" The silence resumed.

When we got to the Dells he walked me in the opposite direction of the party. By the time we stopped we could hardly hear the echo of the music over the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.

We sat on a rock, both staring forward into the water. After a few minutes, I started to wonder what we were doing. "Reid, is there a reason we're just sitting here?" I didn't say it in a rude way. It was a genuine question. I seemed to have startled him because he jumped, lost in his thoughts I guess.

"Yeah, just… just give me a second." He was mumbling to himself before he stood up. I watched him pace in front of me a few times before he dropped on both knees in the sand and held both my hands in his.

All I could think is, God, we're not doing this again, are we?

"I thought about this a lot. Like… a lot, a lot. Since my dad died. Since before then! God I don't know! I sound so stupid." His gaze dropped down to the sand and I squeezed his hands reassuringly. I'll listen to what he has to say this one last time.

His eyes shot back up to mine and he licked his dried lips. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. And I know you think I don't mean it when I say that, but I am. And we've been through a lot… everything." It was true. Reid and I had been an on again, off again couple for four years. "And when I told you I was in love with you, I meant it. And I wouldn't just say that." Okay, I wasn't expecting that. It's believable. I don't think Reid Garwin would tell a girl he was in love with them unless he meant it or was trying to get something really important from them, and I certainly don't have anything he couldn't get somewhere else. "Cyn… I want you to marry me."

I couldn't even speak.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Covenant

**A/N:** The song is 'Lose You Tonight' by HIM

**One Last Time by Cara Mascara**

Don't run away  
I can't live without you  
Please stay  
And I'll learn to love you right

It's like my brain shuts off every time this happens. And I know. I know once is too many times. And God knows it's happened more than once. How stupid could I possibly be to let some stupid slut get all over me in the middle of the courtyard?

"I didn't have sex with her!" What the hell was that?! Why was that the first thing that came out of my mouth?

"So that makes it okay?! You were all over that skank!" I know she's right. It's not okay for me to cheat on her every time she gives me another chance. And she gives me chance after chance after chance…

And I fuck it up every single time.

"It wasn't what-"

"Shut up! I'm not done talking! How long do you expect me to put up with this?" She shouldn't. I can't believe she's stood by me this long. I don't know what to say. All I can do is look at her. I wish she'd understand that I don't do it on purpose. I can't help it. It just happens. And yes, I know how fucking stupid that sounds. I feel sick. "You make me look like an idiot because no matter what people tell me, I stick by your lies. I know what I'd think of someone who put up with your behavior. I'd say 'that girl is an idiot'. I'm tired of being the idiot." It's true. I know what people at school tell her. They tell her they've seen me with other girls and sometimes the girls even tell her they've been with me, but she dismisses whatever they say.

"You're not an idiot." She's too good for me though, that's for sure. But I really need her.

"I know. That's why I can't do this anymore. You don't need me and it's pretty apparent to me that you don't want me." Cyn, please don't do this to me. "Reid, it's over. Just… go away."

_I was waiting for you  
Waiting for all my life  
And I've been crying for you  
Dying for you all this time_

This is the fist time. This is the first time I've really had to work to get her back. Usually, she forgives me after a few days, I tell her I'll never do it again and bam! We're under the covers in my dorm. But this time I must've pushed her to her limit. We haven't really been around each other in three weeks. Sure, she forgives me, but only as far as friendliness goes.

"I'm driving." I can't believe she's actually agreeing to come out with me tonight. But it's a good thing. Definitely a good thing.

She tossed me her keys and climbed into the passenger's seat, puffing away on her cigarette.

I thought about what she said earlier. We're just friends. No benefits. No dates. Just friends. But little does she know, I'm going to blow her away tonight. I smirked to myself at the thought and didn't realize I went 60 around that last turn.

"Slow down Reid!" I glanced over at her to see her lighting up a new cigarette. The girl chain-smokes worse than I do.

"You smoke way too much Cyn." She rolled her eyes and blew smoke at me. I waved it out of my face and continued driving towards Nicky's.

_I was waiting for you  
Waiting for all my life  
And I'm not __gonna  
Lose you tonight  
No, I ain't gonna lose you tonight_

"I've been thinking about you a lot lately." I'm so confidant tonight is going to go perfectly. I'm going to do everything I can to make it go perfectly. I know Nicky's is nothing special, but this way she wouldn't reject me and think it was a date.

"Well, don't waste your thoughts, because it's not happening." I frowned. I wasn't thinking about that. Okay, I was little, but I was thinking more about what I can do to show her that I care about her. I know I don't deserve another chance, but maybe I can earn one. That's how it woks, right?

"That's not all I think about you know." It isn't I think about Cynthia all the time. Granted, a large portion of the time I think about having sex with her, but I do care about her. I think about what I can do for her, what I can buy her. I guess that's not enough though since I screw her over all the time. "Cyn, trust me, okay? Tonight I'm gonna prove to you that I deserve another chance."

She snorted disbelievingly.

I just felt my confidence sink a little.

We walked into Nicky's and I let her know what the deal was. "Tonight is all about you babe. Dinner's on me." She didn't look like she believed me. I sighed. I'll prove it to her. I pay attention to everything about her. I know her better than anyone else knows her.

"What can I get ya Reid?" Nicky asked. I glanced at Cyn and stroked my thumb over her hand. Here goes test number one.

"Two burgers. No onions or mustard on one, two fries, a large Coke and an Iced Tea." I glanced back at her. She actually looked a little surprised, though she hid it well. Like I said though, I know her better then anyone else does. And I can read her pretty easily.

I know it seems stupid. Big deal, I remembered what she usually gets at Nicky's. But it _is_ a big deal. Every detail counts, right? I'm proving I _do_ pay attention, even to stupid things like that.

"You got it. 'Bout five minutes." Nicky walked off and I led Cyn over to a table in the corner for two, no disturbances, no other people joining us, just Cyn and me, of course I already let my brothers know that tonight I probably wouldn't hang with them at all.

A waitress brought us our food and while we ate, I asked her every question I could think of. I just wanted her to know that I do care about what she thinks and what she's doing. I have a shitty way of showing it, but I care a lot about her.

"Reid, you don't have to waste your time trying to impress me by pretending you're interested in my life."

Wow.

Why don't you just kick me in the balls?

I moved my hand off of hers and frowned. "Did you ever think I was actually trying to make an effort to get you back? I'm not pretending. I just want everything to work out." Well, there goes the night. So much for getting her back.

"Yeah well, it's a little too late for that Reid. You've burned me too many times already." I scoffed and stood up. Forget this.

Don't run away  
I never wanted to hurt you  
Please stay  
And I'll learn to treat you right

I went over to Pogue and Tyler while they ate some food and slumped down onto the empty chair between them. The both looked at me, and then gave each other sideways glances.

"What's got you down?" Pogue asked. I just shrugged. _Really_ not interested in talking about it.

"I thought you were with Cynthia tonight?" Ty just had to mention her name. I bit the insides of my cheeks and then sighed.

"I don't wanna talk about it." A little while later I went outside for a cigarette. I can't believe that happened tonight. I can't even believe it didn't work. I thought it was flawless. I really-

"Hey Reid." I looked up from stomping my cigarette out and found Shelby… something or other. She's in my Chemistry class. I don't remember her last name.

"Hi, uh Shelby." She gave me a pout and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What's wrong? You look so sad." As if you care. You only want something from me. I don't understand why these girls line up to be another notch in my bedpost, but they do. I've never complained vocally before but I feel like if the all left me alone, Cyn and I would be happy.

"Not in the best mood."

"Well, maybe I can cheer you up." She tugged at my hand. "Got a car?"

I don't know why I'm going. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It's that mental blindness again. I can't stop myself. "Yeah, this way."

I took her into Cyn's backseat. Why? I can't even tell you what the hell was going through my mind when I decided that was a good idea.

I was forgetting about Cyn. That's what I wanted. I wanted to forget that I'd probably never get another chance with her. It killed me. It really did.

I jumped when the car door was yanked open. Shit.

"Get out!" Her voice was cold as ice and loud enough to echo in my eyes for a long time. Shelby was gone in seconds. I avoided Cyn's eyes as I crawled out of the backseat.

"I'm-"

"You're what? You're sorry?! Bullshit Reid! You can walk back to school!" I don't know how I'm going to get myself out of this one.

"I'm sorry Cyn." I just wanted to hold her. But she backed away. This is definitely one of the lowest things I've ever done to her.

"How many times do you expect me to believe that hollow lie of an apology?" She's crying. The sob she let out as she turned her face away from me made my heart ache. I made he cry. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"It's not a lie Cyn, I-"

"Don't call me that! Only my friends can call me that." I ran my hands through my hair. This can't be happening. She's really mad. Like, _really_ pissed. I've never seen such a bitter expression on her face. "Give me my keys."

"Can we please talk-"

"No! You don't get to talk to me ever again Reid! You're an asshole! Besides, what would we talk about? How every time I think maybe there's a sliver of hope for you, you go ahead and prove me wrong?! Drop dead!"

_I was waiting for you  
Waiting for all my life  
And I've been crying for you  
Dying for you all this time_

It felt like forever that she didn't talk to me. But about a month before school ended my dad died. He just used too much. The guys tried to make me feel better, but I didn't want to talk to them. I don't care if Caleb went through the same thing. I needed to be with someone who would listen to everything and make me feel loved.

"_Hello?"_ She sounded half asleep when she answered her phone. Well, she probably was asleep; it's like 1 AM. Meanwhile I'm sitting under one of the boarding house staircases, leaning against the wall.

"Cynthia? I need you right now." My voice cracked as I spoke. I've been holding the tears in for too long. My mom wanted me to come home. But I couldn't. I didn't want to. I couldn't stand to see the heartbreak in her face.

"_Reid, are you crying?"_ she asked. As gay as it sounds, my heart fluttered a little when I heard the concern in her voice.

"My dad died," I whispered into the phone. She told me to come to her room and I did, thankful that her roommate was staying at home this weekend.

I let her hold me and comb my hair with her fingers. And I cried. I'll admit it. I cried because my dad was gone. Because my mom was heartbroken. Because Cyn would probably never let me be with her again.

Hours passed and my tears dried. I was so mad that he'd left us. He couldn't stop. If he had, he'd still be here. I told her all of this and she just listened and told me it would be okay.

"Cyn, I need you to know I'm in love with you."

She didn't say anything. She's told me before that she loved me, but she didn't say anything this time. I couldn't judge if it was a good out bad thing. You'd think it would be the other way around, wouldn't you?

Well it isn't.

_I was waiting for you  
Waiting for all my life  
And I'm not gonna  
Lose you tonight  
_

She actually came with me to the Dells. I can't believe it. I really was expecting to get shot down. I've avoided her since I spent that night with her after my dad died. I couldn't face her. I was too scared she didn't want to see me. So I didn't put myself in a situation where I'd get rejected.

But I thought about everything during our graduation ceremony today. I have a swimming scholarship to Harvard. We're all going to Harvard. I can't believe we managed it, but we did. But Cyn… what if I never see her again?

I had to try.

And it worked.

But when I found out she was considering Stanford I panicked. I had to do this now or never.

I led her away from the party. I needed to do this in private, away from our classmates. This is too important. I just hope I don't puss out. I hope she doesn't shoot me down too.

We sat on a rock and I stared into the water. I can't do this, can I? Is this a stupid thing to do? Will it make everything better or worse?

"Reid, is there a reason we're just sitting here?" I forgot where I was. Who I was with. What I was doing. She startled me and I knew I had to do this.

"Yeah, just… just give me a second." I rehearsed what I was going to say quickly and then stood up and paced. I can't fuck this up. If nothing else goes my way, please just let this work out.

I dropped on both knees in front of her and took her hands. I can't back out now. "I thought about this a lot. Like… a lot, a lot. Since my dad died. Since before then! God I don't know! I sound so stupid." I feel like I just messed up. That wasn't what I wanted to say. That's not how I planned it. But I looked back up at Cyn when her hands gently tightened around my fingers. I wet m lips and took a deep breath.

This is it.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. And I know you think I don't mean it when I say that, but I am. And we've been through a lot… everything. And when I told you I was in love with you, I meant it. And I wouldn't just say that."

She looked taken aback. Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Cyn… I want you to marry me."

Oh god. Why did I ask? Why didn't I just let her go to Stanford? Would've saved me some heartbreak. I just had to open my big mouth.

He hands slipped out of mine and she shoved me back so I was sitting on my feet. I saw tears running down her cheeks. I closed my eyes and sighed. I blew it.

When I opened my eyes I saw her walking towards the party. I just stayed there, putting my hand in my pocket and fingering the ring I'd so stupidly bought. Did I really think she'd say yes? After everything I've put her through.

My heart almost jumped out of my chest when a body kneeled in front of mine and arms wrapped tightly around my neck. Cyn kissed me so passionately I didn't even know how to respond.

When she pulled away, she was crying harder, but she was smiling. Which made me smile. I took the ring out of my pocket and I saw the glint in her eye as she looked at it.

"Don't give me that unless you really mean it Reid. No more chances."

I looked her straight in the eyes while I slipped the ring on he finger, letting her know I was done being a jackass.


End file.
